(I'm also starting to realise that my memory (which used to be pretty good may I say!) is really starting to fail on me. Whatever they say about mom-nesia - amnesia for mothers - is true. o.0 so I think I should write this all down so that I wouldn't forget it!)
1. Discover and love yourself - the most important life lesson that I've learnt so far is to take time out (it took me 2 years while I was away in boarding school) to reflect on who you are inherently, who you want to be - that is, whether or not you want to change anything about yourself mentally and emotionally - and finally deciding on someone you are comfortable with. It takes time to do this, so don't be impatient and throughout the whole process, always check back with God and family and friends so you don't go off onto an unbeaten path and never return. Love yourself for who you are now, and who you will become. You'll most likely discover yourself when you are in your late teens and early twenties!
2. That being said, you can still change after you've decided who you want to be. You'll feel confident in your twenties, climbing out of that awkward teenager stage, knowing which guys are good for you and which ones were a mistake. But when you get married and become a mother, you'll feel your confidence shatter and shake (especially when your body changes physically and your heart changes emotionally) so do point 1 again, take time out and discover and love the new you, the mother you're about to become and the wife you are already.
3. No matter how much you plan in life, God hands you His life plan for you and the path that He wants you to take. I've tired my best to plan to get the grades (which I did) and apply for medical school and no matter how hard I tried my best to get an interview or an application form in, I was never accepted. But looking at where I am now, I'm glad that I can help Nick out in this business and travel and set up offices. It really feels fulfilling and I've never looked back and regretted doing Mechanical Engineering and meeting Nick.
4. As part of discovering and love yourself, don't forget to make mistakes too. There will be times where you've decided that black clothing is the new black and you dress in all black, wear too much blue sparkly eye makeup that does not match your fuchsia lipstick and dark red blush. There will be times when you've taken the wrong way home, booked (and missed) a wrong flight, dated the wrong guy. Everything that you do builds you up to be a better and stronger girl.
Your future husband
5. Love is really blind! You may create a checklist for your 'perfect' guy, but he funnily always turns out quite the opposite! I've made plenty of checklists in the past when I was a little girl myself. I wanted my husband to be tall, dark, handsome, a foreigner, but guess what - Nick is almost the opposite. Those don't matter though, love matters.
6. No matter what we say as parents, remember to choose with your head AND your heart. We may come across as biased and judgmental towards a particular guy - but only because we mean well! But in the end, you will be spending the rest of your life with this one guy so only you will know whether he is or isn't the one! There will be tell-tale signs along the way and ultimately, you will know deep down whether you've made the right choice or not!
7. No matter how strong-headed and (secretly) alpha female you are, remember that at home and outside, your husband leads the family. Even if you are right, think of a gentle way to tell your husband (men have pride too!). Before meeting Nick, I felt like I always had to be in control and that lead to many a breakup and heartache. Somewhere along the way, I prayed to God to change me to not feel like I always have to lead. I still feel like I need to sometimes, but I consciously tell myself - No!
8. Forgive us if we come across as typically Asian parents (especially me!). I might want you to be a doctor, or a lawyer or an engineer. But if you want to be a ballerina or a photographer or anything in the world, go for it if you love it. As parents, we will try to remember to always support you in everything that you do - especially if you are doing the things you love (as long as it is completely legal).
9. At points in your life (especially those dreaded teenage years), you will probably hate us. We will want you back by 12 midnight, you will want to stay out till 12:01am. We will want you to breakup with that boy. You will secretly text him in the middle of the night or sneak out to see him. We understand but remember that we will always love you no matter what - and we mean the best for you!
10. Try everything that life has to offer. Explore, travel, make friends from all around the world. Have fun and enjoy and live life to the fullest.
Can't wait to see you little one and teach and show you the wonders of life!