Pregnancy Update - Week 25 / 26


So I've just hit Week 26. One more week before I hit the third trimester (and then only 12 weeks before I'm due!) I'm a little frightened, tired and just overwhelmed by all the emotions and feelings stuff that's happening at home and in the office now. 

I went to see my OB/GYN last week (Week 25) on Monday - 20th October. She noticed that my water bag was small and hence my baby bump isn't showing (for 6.5 months, I just look like I still ate a lot and A LOT of dinner). She said she was worried that I would have a premature delivery and/or the baby just can't be comfortable sleeping in me (:S - I feel so guilty). So I've to eat and drink AS MUCH as a I can these 2 weeks till I see her again next week (3rd November). I've been trying to eat more but I can't though. I just don't have any appetite and I feel like throwing up all the time again (I also have thrown up quite often lately too.) Nausea scares me cos I have an innate fear of dehydration and so much vomit from my first trimester (sorry. -_-"). I'm also put on this 'Count-To-Ten' Fetal Movement charts where I have to monitor the baby's movements every hour and tick for every movement against the hour. Baby has to move at least once every two hours and if she doesn't, I have to inform my OB/GYN immediately. Honestly, the more I know, the more panicky and worried I feel for my baby.

On mine and the baby's weight:

I've gained another 2 kgs this month (since I've had the last weigh in). From 54.00kg last month, I'm now 56.05kg. So far, I've gained approximately 6 kgs since the start (pre-baby) and I think that's pretty on-track so far. I'm meant to gain another 6 - 7 kg more by baby's full term! Not sure how I'm going to feel about all that extra weight. This is really the heaviest I've ever been in my life (my heaviest pre-baby was 55kg from eating too much yummy chocolate while studying in the UK. :P) But now instead of chocolate weight, it's cute little baby weight (and massive boobs - worst part! :(). :P On a happier note, baby is now 660g (sizeable and growing fast - she was just 300+g last month). Apparently, next week, baby will be approx 900+g! I do have a noticeable bump although it really is much smaller than other ladies who are also 6.5 months along (I know it's not fair to compare because every woman's body is different, but it does get seriously worrying sometimes. :S)  

On Pregnancy

Even though I have to monitor little baby's kicking every hour, it really is exciting to see her get stronger and have her arms and legs EVERYWHERE. Sometimes, I'm kicked (or punched) awake at 4am and it's hard to get to sleep till 6am cos she's just kicking and rolling about all the time. Before, it used to be little pops and little flutters of movement, now there's just a lot going on inside. It's so exciting and I know I'm going to miss this feeling so much after I've given birth (maybe Baby #2 soon?? Haha - will definitely need time to recover first though!). As her due date edges closer, I do get more and more worried and have an 'eerie' feeling on and off. Not sure if it's normal for other mothers to feel this way, or if it's just me but I always feel like something bad is going to happen. :( Hope this feeling goes away quickly. I just googled it quickly (don't know why I didn't do it earlier - because I've had this feeling on and off since the first week of knowing I was pregnant) and it said it's anxiety attacks. I guess I am prone to being anxious and now that I'm pregnant, I tend to be even more so. :( I pray I can place all my fears in God's hands and let Him take over. 

There's a lot going on 'at home' too. I feel anger and annoyance most of the time and I know I shouldn't but I just can't help it. Even Nick is up to his neck. I really want to leave it all in God's hands. If I step in, I know I will say something or do something purely out of anger and it will probably not result in anything good at all. :( 

God, please help me to have the patience to do what is right all the time. Please provide everything in Your timing. I pray that whatever I'm feeling now will go away because You will take care of the situation. If I did or say anything now, I know I would regret it. I pray that when the time comes, You will take care of me and my little one. Thank you for being my Father. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16.33

10 things I would like to teach my daughter


This post actually started out to be a quick update on my pregnancy and how I was feeling but I decided to completely delete everything and instead talk about something that I thought would be beneficial to my little one. 

As so named on my blog title, I would like to talk about 10 things I would teach my daughter. I've seen many articles like this and this and this around so I thought, why not do one for my own daughter? Obviously, she will learn a lot about life from her friends, other family members, teachers, her siblings, her dad. But as her mother, I want to tell her stories that mean something to our family and would therefore have an impact on her life forever.

(I'm also starting to realise that my memory (which used to be pretty good may I say!) is really starting to fail on me. Whatever they say about mom-nesia - amnesia for mothers - is true. o.0 so I think I should write this all down so that I wouldn't forget it!)

Yourself

1. Discover and love yourself - the most important life lesson that I've learnt so far is to take time out (it took me 2 years while I was away in boarding school) to reflect on who you are inherently, who you want to be - that is, whether or not you want to change anything about yourself mentally and emotionally - and finally deciding on someone you are comfortable with. It takes time to do this, so don't be impatient and throughout the whole process, always check back with God and family and friends so you don't go off onto an unbeaten path and never return. Love yourself for who you are now, and who you will become. You'll most likely discover yourself when you are in your late teens and early twenties!

2. That being said, you can still change after you've decided who you want to be. You'll feel confident in your twenties, climbing out of that awkward teenager stage, knowing which guys are good for you and which ones were a mistake. But when you get married and become a mother, you'll feel your confidence shatter and shake (especially when your body changes physically and your heart changes emotionally) so do point 1 again, take time out and discover and love the new you, the mother you're about to become and the wife you are already.

3. No matter how much you plan in life, God hands you His life plan for you and the path that He wants you to take. I've tired my best to plan to get the grades (which I did) and apply for medical school and no matter how hard I tried my best to get an interview or an application form in, I was never accepted. But looking at where I am now, I'm glad that I can help Nick out in this business and travel and set up offices. It really feels fulfilling and I've never looked back and regretted doing Mechanical Engineering and meeting Nick.

4. As part of discovering and love yourself, don't forget to make mistakes too. There will be times where you've decided that black clothing is the new black and you dress in all black, wear too much blue sparkly eye makeup that does not match your fuchsia lipstick and dark red blush. There will be times when you've taken the wrong way home, booked (and missed) a wrong flight, dated the wrong guy. Everything that you do builds you up to be a better and stronger girl.

Your future husband

5. Love is really blind! You may create a checklist for your 'perfect' guy, but he funnily always turns out quite the opposite! I've made plenty of checklists in the past when I was a little girl myself. I wanted my husband to be tall, dark, handsome, a foreigner, but guess what - Nick is almost the opposite. Those don't matter though, love matters.

6. No matter what we say as parents, remember to choose with your head AND your heart. We may come across as biased and judgmental towards a particular guy - but only because we mean well! But in the end, you will be spending the rest of your life with this one guy so only you will know whether he is or isn't the one! There will be tell-tale signs along the way and ultimately, you will know deep down whether you've made the right choice or not!

7. No matter how strong-headed and (secretly) alpha female you are, remember that at home and outside, your husband leads the family. Even if you are right, think of a gentle way to tell your husband (men have pride too!). Before meeting Nick, I felt like I always had to be in control and that lead to many a breakup and heartache. Somewhere along the way, I prayed to God to change me to not feel like I always have to lead. I still feel like I need to sometimes, but I consciously tell myself - No!

Your parents

8. Forgive us if we come across as typically Asian parents (especially me!). I might want you to be a doctor, or a lawyer or an engineer. But if you want to be a ballerina or a photographer or anything in the world, go for it if you love it. As parents, we will try to remember to always support you in everything that you do - especially if you are doing the things you love (as long as it is completely legal).

9. At points in your life (especially those dreaded teenage years), you will probably hate us. We will want you back by 12 midnight, you will want to stay out till 12:01am. We will want you to breakup with that boy. You will secretly text him in the middle of the night or sneak out to see him. We understand but remember that we will always love you no matter what - and we mean the best for you!

Finally

10. Try everything that life has to offer. Explore, travel, make friends from all around the world. Have fun and enjoy and live life to the fullest.


Can't wait to see you little one and teach and show you the wonders of life! 

It's a....


SO! First up and the most important announcement of the entire pregnancy (or I think it is anyway!). We can finally reveal the gender of our little one. :)




Nick and I are both super excited although I have to admit that I wasn't so pleased before (I really, really, really wanted a lil boy - I already have way too many sisters than one needs. But I still love my sisters and I will definitely love my girl!). There was a bit of drama in the family when we first found out the sex... but let's just leave it at that. We actually knew the gender of our child really early on through the HARMONY test (see previous post) that I did in Week 12. The HARMONY test took 10 working days (some blood samples from me are flown to the US) and it detects extra chromosomes 13, 18 and 21, as well as tests for a boy or girl (or rather, the elimination of a Y chromosome so that we know if it's a boy or girl). So we knew much much earlier and it has been difficult keeping it a secret for the past 8 weeks (of course, our family knew). Today I did the detailed 5 month ultrasound scan and our sono-grapher confirmed that our little cantaloupe was indeed a girl. We were also extremely blessed to see her playing and puckering up her lips, sticking her tongue out and stretching out during the ultrasound. And apparently she has my head shape it seems (my head is narrower than Nick's). She's also very average in all size measurements and her weight (330g) which I'm happy about. I'm just happy that my baby is healthy and growing and absorbing everything I'm eating!

On another note however, we found out from the ultrasound that I fall into the 50% of women who have a low-lying placenta. It's actually normal - if the embryo implants further down, the placenta grows further down. It usually moves up in the 6 - 8th month of the pregnancy. I'm praying that my placenta moves up further along my pregnancy as well. If it doesn't I'll have to do a C-Sect as it will be blocking the baby's path during natural childbirth. I also can't do any running, swimming, jogging, cycling at all as spontaneous bleeding may occur. :( The low lying placenta probably explains the bleeding at Week 6? I'm not sure...

I'm also doing a breast scan (is this too much information?) on Saturday. I hope everything will be alright! :S Pretty worried. Not sure if I'm getting worried about nothing but really hope that everything is fine.

On my weight/body:

Routine weigh-in at the doctor says I've gained 2 kgs in the past month. From 51.95kg, I'm up to 54.00kg now. :) I'm right on track I suppose! Physically though, not much has changed, which is quite surprising. The only difference is that I've a small oblong shaped tummy now and I have to start wearing skirts and dresses. But to an outsider, it's so hard to tell I'm pregnant. Even when I catch myself in the mirror, I sometimes forget I'm pregnant! It just looks like I ate too much chocolate and have a belly. (Although I know now that the difference between a 'fat' belly and a 'pregnant' belly is that a fat belly is soft and squishy and a pregnant one is firm and hard!). My diet is fairly normal too, I get the occasional hunger pangs but I eat the normal 3 meals a day.

On Pregnancy

The most exciting thing so far in that has started to happen in the past 2 weeks is the occasional baby kicks during the day. I know when she's awake and super active because it feels like I'm being prodded from the inside. Sometimes it feels like 'pops' (not so much the flutter that people talk about though) and I know she's just kicking like crazy. It's so exciting and scary (knowing all the things that could go wrong especially with the help of technology today :S) at the same time. Some days, I just like to sit and enjoy her little kicks and movements; on other days, I get so panicky and want her to come out straight away so that I can be in control of the situation (I sound like a control freak!). Actually, when I mean control the situation, I know I really can't do anything. God has created a life form in me that only He has power to determine her gender, whether she is physically fully created, if she has any abnormalities (please no!) etc. Even after she is born, I cannot change anything that has already been created. Honestly, I've never felt so helpless in my life (which is really weird because the little one in me is so small and helpless and dependent on me too!). Just got to let go and let God take care of everything. This pregnancy is really teaching and testing me in terms of my dependence on God and I feel really tried at this time but I hope that I can continue trusting in God and letting Him take control of the situation and my emotions and just... Everything!

Kisses and hugs. x o x o

Missing You


Missing London and the UK like CRAZY now. 


The snowy Hyde Park and the beautiful statues.


The snowy roads.


The blue skies and the almost green vegetation.


Our little street opposite our old apartment and the dry cleaners! 


Our little apartment.


The corner church. 

My sisters and parents are heading there this week and I'm letting my chance go (even though there was a fiasco and I did book tickets originally - but for the safety of the baby and in case I suffer a panic attack I decided it was best I didn't go in the end! It was quite a pain to get a refund!). I'm super jealous because I'd planned a LONG, LONG list of where I wanted to re-visit and eat at again and now I've to keep that in the drawer until the next time. Going to have to wait till next year probably and a little one will be on tow too! Can't wait to have a cuddly, squirmy baby to show the whole world to. I sometimes find it hard to believe that I've been gifted this chance in life to bring someone up and teach them about life and about love and how to be a good person. I hope I don't mess up and that God will bless me with many more little babies in the future! :)

Kisses and love. x x x 

Pregnancy Update (Week 13 - Week 16)


So it's been a couple of weeks since I last updated this little cyber space. 

I mentioned in my previous post that it would take a knuckle-biting 3 weeks for the blood tests results for Thalassemia to come out. I have been religiously checking my post box EVERY day (nothing in the mail yet! :(). But when I visited my OB/GYN (13th August), she already had my blood test results on her desk (for Nick, they still had not analysed his blood yet so that's probably why we haven't been sent the results via mail - they want to wait for both parent's results first). So the results are: I AM Alpha-1 Thalassemic (minor) (and it's passed down from my mom's side of the family). I did suspect it already because I do have anaemia and it does get pretty bad sometimes. Even eating iron doesn't help. We worried for a few days (because now it's up to Nick's blood to determine whether baby is healthy or not!). And then I received a call yesterday and the nurses said they received Nick's blood test results and he is absolutely fine! So baby is okay and safe! :) Just praying baby stays that way and continues to grow healthy and strong! We also did another quick U/S on the 13th August (Week 15) and baby is 9.1cm! This week (Week 16), baby should be approximately 10 - 11cm (the size of an avocado!) I'm still not showing (looks like I had an extra burger rather than a cute baby bump) so I'm still amazed and curious to see how everything fits in me!

The weeks after the first trimester have been passing by in a blur which is partly due to us packing (SO stressful!), finding a temporary house to rent, and moving houses. Also, mainly because the nausea has greatly subsided (although it has not completely disappeared - I still get it every other day at night where half my dinner disappears :S), I'm feeling a ton better. In just a few short weeks time, I will be halfway through (Week 20!) I can't believe that I've gotten this far. When I was so groggy, drowsy and generally feeling crap in Week 7 - 9, I wondered if I would even get through to this stage and now I'm here! God has really carried me through! (Although now looking back in retrospect, I'm not sure if I can go through a couple more pregnancies - especially the nausea part! But I also want 4 children!)

On my weight/body:

So I ended off the last post saying I was 50.7kg. I had a weigh-in again at the doctor's this past week (13th August) and I gained slightly over a kilo! I'm now at 51.95 kg. My OB/GYN is happy that I am gaining weight but when I told her that I was still throwing up, she seemed a little concerned. Maybe I'm not getting the right nutrition (or just not gaining weight fast enough?) I also don't feel any heavier than normal these past few weeks. My appetite increased drastically from Week 11 - 12 and into 13 but somewhere after that, it became normal again in Week 14 through to this week. I am trying to snack more often (so I don't have to eat as much during meals because I hate the feeling of being super full) so I'm hoping my snacking will help with the weight gain (and the nutrition too). If I eat too much during meal times, I feel like throwing up after. :( According to pregnancy websites, I should gain an average of 2 - 4 pounds (1 - 2 kg) in the first trimester (I lost one kilo and gained it back again by the end of the first trimester so the net effect was 0!). In the second trimester, and the rest of the pregnancy, I should be gaining 1 pound a week (that's roughly 0.5 kg) so that means that by Week 16, I should be 2 kg heavier from my first trimester weight (I'm only 1 kg heavier!) I'm a little behind in terms of weight gain but I hope that baby is getting everything that I'm eating anyway!

My body is also changing, my tummy / womb area is getting harder and it seems like my stomach is getting pushed higher up, closer to my ribs. I'm also pee-ing a lot more often (especially during the night - which is annoying!). I'm getting warmer (body temperature wise) as opposed to being a cold fish pre-pregnancy. But I'm still not showing!! It's getting a little annoying and worrying that I'm not showing but I hope this means I'm just concealing the baby really well (a waiter in the restaurant wanted to match-make her son to me, not knowing that I was already 4 months pregnant!) I may 'pop' later... but right now, I just look normal (or that I've over-eaten) and it's not good because people still bump into me all the time (which can be dangerous for the baby). My clothes are definitely getting a little tighter around the waistline and the tummy area though so I've resorted to wearing skirts and dresses instead of skinny jeans (goodbye skinny jeans!) and shorts (although I can still fit into a couple of looser shorts).  

On Pregnancy

I've been reading a few poignant articles on pregnancy and giving birth (and it's really made me question a lot on life!) but I'm still thankful everyday that I'm alive and healthy and little baby is as healthy as possible. (I need to remember that less thinking and worrying = happier mom!)

Kisses and much love. x x x